Wedding speech order: who speaks and when

The traditional US order is best man, maid of honor, then the hosting parents, with a toast from the couple optional. UK guides often start with the father of the bride. Pick one order, give each speaker a number of minutes, and add a minute per speaker for the handoff. The table below does that math.

You are not choosing a “correct” order. You are choosing one that the DJ, the caterer and every speaker can read at a glance.

Running order: speaker, minutes and clock time

Table: a US reception running order with minutes and clock times, starting at 6:15 PM (our estimate, assumptions below)

Assumptions: every slot adds one minute for applause and the mic handoff, and the block starts when guests are seated. Real rooms drift by a few minutes. The order follows the traditional US pattern from WeddingWire and Inside Weddings. The minutes are ours.

Six speakers fill 25 minutes, and 5 of those minutes are handoffs between speakers.

Use the box above the page text to change the names, minutes and start time. Then copy the list.

Before or after dinner

This is a call for the couple and the caterer together. Here is how we weigh it.

Before dinner. Guests are seated and attentive. Speakers get their nerves over with early. The caterer holds one start time. The cost is a short wait for hungry guests, so keep the block under half an hour.

After dinner. Guests are fed and relaxed, and speeches can run a little longer. The cost is a long wait for speakers, who often cannot enjoy the meal. Late speeches also compete with the dance floor.

Between courses. This works when the kitchen serves in waves, but only if the caterer knows the exact minutes. Clink time is the one thing a plated service cannot guess.

If you are unsure, pick before dinner for a block of five speakers or fewer, and after dinner for a long list.

Two orders compared

Table: the same six speakers in a US order and a UK order (our estimate, assumptions below)

Assumptions: the UK minutes are midpoints of the published UK ranges (father of the bride 7 to 9, groom 6 to 8, best man about 5, maid of honour 4 to 6). The US minutes are shorter because we plan US toasts tighter. The UK column totals 25 minutes before handoffs and the US column totals 15.

Sources describe the UK order as father of the bride, groom, then best man. If you add a maid of honour to the UK order, we would place her after the best man.

What each added speaker costs

Table: block length for a list of speakers at three minutes each, plus one minute per handoff (our estimate, assumptions below)

Published UK advice puts all speeches combined at 20 to 30 minutes and no more than 40. At three minutes each, five to seven speakers fill that range. An eighth speaker pushes you past it. Our rule: if the list is longer than six, split it. Move two toasts to the cake cutting or the first dance.

How many words fill each slot

Table: words to write for each speech length at our pace (our estimate, assumptions below)

The 130 pace is our assumption for a calm, clear speaker. The 111 column is the median from a vendor sample of practice presentations, a reminder that nervous speakers run slower than they expect. Send each speaker the minutes, not just a word count. Then ask them to read the draft aloud once with a timer.

Eight lines for the host to introduce each speaker

One voice should run the whole block. Each line below is one or two sentences, with the word count shown. Swap the brackets for real names.

1. Open the block (22 words)

Welcome, everyone. Please find your seats and silence your phones. Dinner is almost ready, and first we have a few short toasts.

2. Introduce the best man (21 words)

Our first speaker has known [Name] since [year] and has promised to keep it short. Please welcome the best man, [Name].

3. Introduce the maid of honor (21 words)

Next, someone who has been by [Name]‘s side through every plan and every list. Please welcome the maid of honor, [Name].

4. Introduce a hosting parent (27 words)

Our hosts for tonight have a few words for the room. Please welcome [Name], the father of the bride, who has waited a long time for this.

5. Hand back to the host (18 words)

Thank you, [Name]. Keep those glasses nearby, because we have one more speaker before we raise them together.

6. Introduce the couple (18 words)

And now the two people we are here for. [Name] and [Name] would like to say thank you.

7. Ask for the toast (19 words)

If you have a glass, please stand. To [Name] and [Name], and to every year ahead of them. Cheers.

8. Close the block (17 words)

Thank you, everyone. Your first course is coming out now, and the dance floor opens after dinner.

What to cut when the block runs late

Cut in this order. The minutes come from the running order above.

1. Shorten each of four speeches by one minute. Saves 4 minutes.
2. Move the couple thank you to the cake cutting or the first dance. Saves 3 minutes.
3. Drop the host welcome and let the DJ say two sentences. Saves 3 minutes.
4. Hold both fathers until after dinner. Saves 9 minutes from the pre-dinner block.

Never cut the toast itself. It is the only moment the whole room does something together.

Mistakes that wreck a speech block

• Telling the DJ nothing. The DJ plays music at the wrong moment and misses the mic cue. Send the order the day before.
• Telling speakers only their name. Each one writes four minutes and gives eight. Send minutes.
• Leaving the mic open. Advice from Inside Weddings is that unscheduled speakers should ask the couple first. Say so in the invitation or through the host.
• Placing the best speech last. After a long meal, the last speaker faces a tired room. Put the longest speech in the middle of the block.
• Forgetting the sound check. Test the mic and the stand before guests arrive, not while speaker one is walking up.
• Reusing the rehearsal dinner list. The rehearsal dinner runs a different order, host first, and longer. Plan it on its own page.

Send the order to the people who need it

Copy one of these, edit the clock times and send.

To the DJ or coordinator (29 words)

Toasts start at 6:15 PM, six speakers, 25 minutes total, ending at 6:40 PM. Please cue the mic before each speaker. Full order attached. Dinner service starts straight after.

To each speaker (34 words)

Thank you for speaking. You are number [#], starting around [time]. Please keep your speech to [minutes] minutes, which is about [words] words. Come up when you hear your name, and bring a glass.

Anyone not on the list should ask the couple before standing up. A kind way to say it is that the couple has planned a short list and would love a toast at the dance floor.

Where this order fits in your day

The speech block is one block in a longer plan. See the full reception order of events to place it between the entrance and the first dance, or build your timeline from your ceremony time.

For the speakers themselves, the page for the best man outline has a timed outline, and the maid of honor page covers her side. A hosting parent can start with a hosting father’s speech. If you are unsure how long to ask each person to speak, see how long each speech should run. Not sure whether you need a toast or a speech? Read the difference between a toast and a speech.

Hosting a rehearsal dinner too? It follows a different order, so use the rehearsal dinner toasts page for that one.

Questions people ask

Who speaks first at a wedding?

In the traditional US order the best man speaks first, soon after guests are seated, and the maid of honor follows. UK guides often put the father of the bride first. Sources differ, so the couple decides. Pick one order, tell every speaker, and give the DJ the same list.

Do speeches come before or after dinner?

Both work, and the couple chooses. Before dinner keeps nervous speakers from waiting through a long meal and lets the caterer plan one clean start. After dinner suits a venue where food comes out in waves. Whichever you pick, tell the caterer the clock time the toasts begin.

How long should all toasts take in total?

Published UK advice puts all speeches together at 20 to 30 minutes and no more than 40. For a US reception we plan 15 to 25 minutes, including a minute per speaker for applause and the mic handoff. Count the handoffs, because they are what makes a short list run long.

Who introduces the speakers?

Pick one host voice for the whole block, such as the DJ, the venue coordinator or a relative with a steady voice. That person welcomes the room, introduces each speaker in one sentence and hands out the mic. It keeps the energy up and stops speakers from guessing who is next.

Can a guest stand up and give a toast that was not planned?

Advice from Inside Weddings is that anyone who is not on the list should ask the couple first. Tell guests ahead of time whether you have an open mic. If you do not, say so kindly through the host, and offer a later moment such as the dance floor or the cake.

How do I order speeches at a rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner has its own order. Zola advice is that the dinner host speaks first, then wedding party members who will not speak at the reception, then friends and family if the mic is open. Keep it separate from the reception list so nobody gives the same toast twice.

Sources

• weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/who-gives-a-speech-at-a-wedding (opens in a new tab) : Traditional US reception order with the best man first shortly after guests are seated, then the maid of honor, then the hosting parents, with the couple optional.
• www.insideweddings.com/news/expert-advice/the-must-know-rules-for-making-a-wedding-toast/1622 (opens in a new tab) : Best man traditionally first, a maid of honor companion toast increasingly customary, speakers should confirm the list and order in advance, and unscheduled speakers should ask the couple first.
• bridebook.com/uk/article/how-long-should-a-wedding-speech-be (opens in a new tab) : UK guidance on length by speaker (father of the bride 7 to 9 minutes, groom 6 to 8, best man about 5, maid of honour 4 to 6, mother of the groom 3 to 5) and 20 to 30 minutes for all speeches combined, no more than 40.
• zola.com/expert-advice/how-to-write-a-rehearsal-dinner-speech (opens in a new tab) : Rehearsal dinner toasts start with the dinner host and run longer than reception toasts, so they need their own order.
• virtualspeech.com/blog/average-speaking-rate-words-per-minute (opens in a new tab) : Median pace of 111 words per minute in a vendor sample of practice presentations, used as the slow case next to our 130 assumption (vendor data, not toasts).

Updated November 5, 2026 by bigdaydesk editorial

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