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Speech examples

Best man speech: structure, openers and examples

A best man speech in five parts with a timed outline, ten opening lines and what to leave out. Copy any example and edit it. Free to copy.

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How long will it take to say?

Type the word count of your draft. We use 130 words per minute as our assumption for speaking pace.

Each example below has its own Copy button.

A best man speech has five parts: a hook, who you are, one story, a turn toward the couple, and a toast. At three minutes that is about 390 words, using 130 words per minute as our assumption. Use the table, copy an opener, then fill the gaps with your own story.

You do not need to be a performer. You need one true story and a plan for how long it takes to tell.

Outline table: five parts of a three-minute speech

Table: seconds and words for each part of a three-minute speech (our estimate, assumptions below)

PartWhat goes in itSecondsWords (est.)
1. Hook and welcomeYour name, a thank you to the hosts, one light line2043
2. Who you areHow you know your friend, in two or three sentences2554
3. The storyOne moment that shows who your friend is65141
4. The turnWhat changed, or what you see, now that they are with their partner4087
5. The toastOne wish, then ask the room to raise a glass3065
Total180390

Assumptions: 130 words per minute, rounded to whole words, and no pauses for laughter. Real rooms add a few seconds. The story gets the biggest share on purpose, because it is the only part people repeat later.

The story takes 65 of the 180 seconds, more than a third of the speech.

Time map of a three-minute best man speech: 1 hook and welcome 43 words, 20 s; 2 who you are 54 words, 25 s; 3 the story 141 words, 1 min 5 s; 4 the turn 87 words, 40 s; 5 the toast 65 words, 30 s. Total 390 words, about 3 min at 130 words per minute.
Where the three minutes go

If your draft runs long, cut part 2 first, then trim the story. Never cut the toast.

Close-up of a fountain pen nib writing in cursive on lined paper, the kind of handwritten first draft a best man speech starts from
Photo: Aaron Burden (aaronburden), originally Unsplash y02jEX_B0O0, CC0

How many words fill your time slot

Table: words needed for each speech length at two speaking paces (our estimate, assumptions below)

Minutes aloudWords at 130 per minuteWords at 111 per minute
2260222
3390333
4520444
5650555

We use 130 as a calm, clear pace. The 111 column matches the median pace in one vendor sample of practice presentations, which is a useful reminder that nervous speakers often run slower than they expect. Time yourself reading it aloud once, standing up, before you trust either column.

Type your own word count into the box above the page text to see minutes for your draft.

Length: what published advice says

Sources disagree, so here is the spread. One guide recommends two to five minutes and says a minute or less can feel rushed. A UK guide says about five minutes for the best man. Another source suggests a toast of a minute or two.

UK speeches tend to run longer than US toasts, so lean toward the short end if the reception is in the US. Three minutes sits in the middle of every range and leaves room for the next speaker, since all the speeches together are often 20 to 30 minutes in the UK guide’s view.

For a longer discussion by role, see how long a wedding speech should be.

Ten opening lines to copy and bend

Each opener is a starting point. Swap the bracketed parts for real names and real places. Tap Copy under any card to put it on your clipboard.

1. Plain and warm (37 words)

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Your name], and I’ve known [Friend] for [number] years. I was honored when they asked me to stand next to them today, and a little scared when they added that I’d be speaking.

2. Thank the hosts first (39 words)

Before anything else, thank you to [Host names] for tonight, and to everyone who traveled to be here. I’m [Your name], [Friend]‘s best man, which means my job is to be kind and brief. I’ll manage one of those.

3. Straight into a story (29 words)

The first thing I learned about [Friend] is that they cannot be trusted with a map. I’m [Your name], their best friend since [place or year], and I’ll explain.

4. The job description (31 words)

I’m [Your name]. By tradition, the best man has three jobs: hold the rings, keep the couple on time, and say something nice. I’ve done two. [Friend] can tell you which.

5. Short and honest (24 words)

I wrote four pages for tonight and cut them down to three minutes, because the best parts of any story are never the longest.

6. The day you heard about their partner (34 words)

I remember the phone call when [Friend] told me about someone they’d met at [place]. They talked for twenty minutes without once mentioning the weather, which is how I knew this one was different.

7. For a sibling (34 words)

Most of you know [Friend] as a partner, a son or a daughter, or a coworker. I know them as the kid who once [childhood story], and I’m hoping they’ve forgotten I have photos.

8. Ask the room (37 words)

Raise your hand if [Friend] has ever been late to something you invited them to. Now keep it up if they’re also the first person you’d call at two in the morning. That’s who we’re toasting tonight.

9. For a nervous speaker (42 words)

I’m nervous, so I’m going to read a little, and you’re going to be kind about it. I’m [Your name], and I get to say a few words about my friend [Friend] and the person they chose to spend their life with.

10. The deadline joke (24 words)

[Friend] asked me to keep this under five minutes. I told them I’d keep it under three. We both know they’re checking their watch.

More structure and wording for specific friendships is in the fill-in template for the speech and the guide for a brother giving the speech.

A full sample to measure against (212 words)

About 1.6 minutes at 130 words per minute (our assumption). Use this as a shape, not a script. The story is invented, so replace it with something that really happened to you.

Good evening, everyone. I’m [Your name], [Friend]‘s best friend since [place or year]. Thank you to [Host names] for hosting us, and to all of you for being here.

I have a confession. When [Friend] asked me to be best man, I said yes before they finished the sentence. Then I spent two weeks wondering what I would say.

So here is one story. Three summers ago, [Friend] drove six hours to help me move apartments. They arrived late, lost the truck key, and carried my couch up four flights because I’d hurt my back. They never mentioned it again. That is who they are. They show up, they do the heavy part, and they let you think it was nothing.

Then [Partner] arrived. I noticed right away. [Friend] still showed up, but now they called ahead. They started asking what people needed before anyone had to ask. [Partner], I don’t know exactly what you did, but thank you.

[Friend], you were generous with me when I didn’t deserve it, and I’ve watched you be that way with [Partner]. I hope you stay each other’s first call.

Everyone, please raise a glass. To [Friend] and [Partner]. May you always be each other’s first call, and may someone else always carry the couch.

Notice the proportions. The story is the longest block, the turn names the partner directly, and the toast is one sentence.

What to leave out, and why

  • Exes and past relationships. The partner’s grandparents are in the room. No laugh is worth that moment.
  • Bachelor party stories. If a story needs “you had to be there” or a lowered voice, it is not for this microphone.
  • Inside jokes that need explaining. If you must explain it, the joke belongs to four people. Cut it, or give it one sentence of context.
  • Jokes at the partner’s expense. You may know them less well than you know your friend. Tease only your friend, and only in ways they would laugh at.
  • Marriage-is-a-prison lines. They are worn out, and the person who just married is listening.
  • A dictionary opening. Starting with a definition tells the room you ran out of ideas by minute one.
  • Reading from a phone with notifications on. Print the speech or use cards. A buzz in the middle of the toast cannot be undone.

For a lighter tone that stays kind, see the funny best man speech guide.

Make it yours in four questions

  1. Which one moment shows what your friend is like? Pick a single scene with a place, a time and a small detail, not a list of traits.
  2. What changed after they met their partner? Describe one thing you saw, such as a habit, a phone call or a new laugh.
  3. What do you want the room to remember tomorrow? Write it as one sentence and check that your story supports it.
  4. Who can read it for you? Ask one person who knows both of you to check that nothing needs explaining.

If you are also writing alongside the maid of honor, compare notes before you finish. Two speeches that use the same story are worse than two short ones, so the maid of honor’s speech is worth a quick message.

Order, timing and who to tell

In the traditional US order the best man speaks first, soon after guests are seated, with the maid of honor and hosting parents after. Sources differ by country, so the couple decides. Ask them where you fall, how long they would like you to run and who else is speaking. If the couple wants to plan the whole block, see who speaks in which order.

Copy this note and send it to your co-speaker. It gives them your plan in a few seconds.

My best man speech outline, about three minutes and 390 words. 1. Hook and welcome, 20 seconds. 2. Who I am, 25 seconds. 3. One story, 65 seconds. 4. The turn toward the two of you, 40 seconds. 5. Toast, 30 seconds. The story I plan to tell is about [topic]. Is there a story you plan to tell, or anything you would like me to leave out?

More worked drafts for other roles and tones are collected in worked drafts by role.

Printable best man speech outline on paper with five numbered parts and a number of seconds beside each part

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Questions people ask

Does the best man have to give a speech?

No rule requires it. It is a custom, and most couples expect it, so the usual answer is yes. If speaking truly is not for you, tell the couple early and offer a short toast of three or four sentences. A brief, sincere toast beats a long one delivered through panic.

What does a best man speech include?

Five parts work for almost everyone. A hook and welcome, who you are and how you know your friend, one story, a turn toward the couple together, and a toast. The story carries the speech. Everything else is there to frame it and then end cleanly.

How long should a best man speech be?

Published advice runs from a minute or two up to about five minutes. We suggest three, which is roughly 390 words at 130 words per minute. That pace is our assumption. If nerves slow you down, 330 words is a safer target.

How do I start a best man speech?

Say who you are and thank the hosts in two sentences, then move to a line that gets one small laugh or one honest smile. Do not open with a dictionary definition or an apology. The ten openers below can be copied and adjusted to your friend.

How many words is a three-minute best man speech?

About 390 words at 130 words per minute, which is our assumed speaking pace and not a measured rule. Add a few seconds for laughter and pauses. If you tend to speak slowly when nervous, 330 words will fill the same three minutes.

Sources

Updated by bigdaydesk editorial

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