A non-religious ceremony script has seven spoken parts: welcome, reading, a few words about you two, a question of intent (each of you is asked whether you will marry the other), vows, rings and a pronouncement. The full text runs about 12 minutes at our assumed pace of 130 words per minute, with music and pauses included. Print the core text, then plan for the standard length of about 16 minutes (our estimate), which adds a community pledge and a ritual. Jump to the full script.
Script outline: the order of events with minutes
Table: minutes for each part of a non-religious ceremony script (our estimate, assumptions below)
| # | Part | Who speaks | Words | Time |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Processional | Music only | 0 | 3:00 | |
| 1 | Welcome | Officiant | 108 | 0:50 |
| 2 | Reading | A friend or the officiant | 83 | 0:38 |
| 3 | Words about the two of you | Officiant | 97 | 0:45 |
| 4 | Question of intent | Officiant, then each of you | 62 | 0:29 |
| 5 | Personal vows | Each of you | 281 | 2:10 |
| 6 | Ring exchange | Officiant, then each of you | 62 | 0:29 |
| 7 | Pronouncement | Officiant | 49 | 0:23 |
| Recessional | Music only | 0 | 2:00 | |
| Pauses, applause, handoffs | Everyone | 0 | 1:30 | |
| Total | 742 | 12:14 |
Assumptions: 130 words per minute for speech, slower than the roughly 150 that speaking-rate research reports for English, because a ceremony is read with pauses. Each personal vow is 130 words, about a minute. Processional music is 3:00, the recessional 2:00 and pauses 1:30. Those three are our guesses, so time your own music. We count pauses as one lump sum because they depend on your room and your guests. Our christian and elopement scripts use their own methods (whole minutes per part, and 15 seconds per part), so compare their totals with care.
The word counts are for the text in the next section. If you change a part, recount it and move the total.
The full script, ready to adapt
Replace [Name 1] and [Name 2] with your names. Fill every other bracket with your own words, using the length it suggests. Each part shows its own word count, counted by spaces.
Example: the core script, seven spoken parts, about 742 words, 12:14 with music and pauses at our assumed pace.
1. Welcome (108 words). Friends and family, welcome, and thank you for being here. We are gathered to celebrate [Name 1] and [Name 2], and to witness the moment they promise their lives to each other. Look around you. Every person in this space has shaped these two in some way, through a kindness, a long drive, a hard season or a good meal. Today we ask only that you listen, cheer and hold this couple in your thoughts. We will not ask you to recite anything. We will hear a reading, a few words about the two of them, a question for each of them, their own promises, and then we will celebrate.
2. Reading (83 words). Two people can walk the same road for years before they notice they are walking it together. A marriage is built from small decisions more than from big days: to ask how the other one’s day really went, to say the true thing gently, to cook dinner when the other is tired. It holds good news and bad news, shared jokes and quiet evenings, and it asks both people to keep choosing each other when choosing is easy and when it takes effort.
3. Words about the two of you (97 words, counting each fill-in at its suggested length). [Name 1] and [Name 2] met in [where you met, about 4 words]. [One thing Name 1 says about Name 2, one sentence of about 15 words.] [One thing Name 2 says about Name 1, one sentence of about 15 words.] [One habit only the two of you know, two sentences of about 28 words.] Those small facts are what a marriage is made of. Today they add one more fact: they have chosen each other in front of the people they love most.
4. Question of intent (62 words). [Name 1], will you take [Name 2] as your partner in life, to love them, to be honest with them, and to stand beside them in good times and hard times? I will. [Name 2], will you take [Name 1] as your partner in life, to love them, to be honest with them, and to stand beside them in good times and hard times? I will.
5. Vows (281 words with the lead-ins). Officiant: [Name 1] and [Name 2] have written their own promises. [Name 1], you will go first. [Name 1 reads the vow below, about 130 words, one minute.] Officiant: Thank you, [Name 1]. [Name 2], your turn. [Name 2 reads the same frame with the names swapped, about 130 words, one minute.]
The vow frame, 130 words once the four fill-ins are written at the lengths shown:
[Name 2], I remember [a specific memory, one or two sentences, about 24 words]. That is when I knew [what you knew, one sentence, about 13 words]. I promise to [a promise for ordinary days, one sentence, about 22 words]. I promise to [a promise for hard days, one sentence, about 22 words]. I promise to be honest with you, to laugh with you and to keep choosing you. Today, in front of everyone we love, I give you my promise and my love.
Need a different length or tone? Our guide to writing a vow that fits the minutes you have resizes this frame for 30 seconds, 1 minute or 2 minutes.
6. Ring exchange (62 words). Rings go everywhere you go: to work, onto planes, into the dishwater. [Name 1], place the ring on [Name 2]‘s finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a sign of my love and my promise. [Name 2], place the ring on [Name 1]‘s finger and repeat after me: I give you this ring as a sign of my love and my promise.
7. Pronouncement (49 words). [Name 1] and [Name 2], you have made your promises in front of the people who love you. With the trust you have shown each other and the support of everyone here, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss. Friends and family, please join me in celebrating [Name 1] and [Name 2].
The reading and the welcome are original text written for this page, so you can use them freely. If you choose a published poem instead, check who holds the rights before you print it in a program. Our page of secular poems and passages lists options for that slot.
What takes the place of a prayer
A religious service leans on prayer, blessing and hymn to give the room a shared moment. A secular one needs a replacement for each, and you only need one or two.
- A reading. Guests hear words they can hold. This is the easiest swap and the one our core script uses.
- A moment of quiet. The officiant invites guests to think, hope or pray in their own way. It works for a mixed crowd because nobody has to say anything.
- A community pledge. The officiant asks guests to support the marriage and they answer together. The text below is 43 words, about 20 seconds.
- A ritual. Sand, one candle or a braided cord gives guests something to watch. Our estimate for most rituals is 3:00, so count it in the total.
- Ring warming. At a small wedding, guests pass the rings down the rows so each person holds them for a moment. It turns the exchange into something everyone touched.
Example: a community pledge, 43 words, about 20 seconds at 130 words per minute.
[Name 1] and [Name 2] are choosing this together, and they are choosing it with you. Will you, their family and friends, support them in their marriage, celebrate with them and be honest with them when they need it? If so, please answer: We will.
Four lengths, four running times
Table: total running time of four versions of this script (our estimate, assumptions below)
| Version | What changes | Total |
|---|---|---|
| Short | Processional 1:30, recessional 1:00, no reading, no story, pauses 1:00 | 7:51 |
| Core | The script above | 12:14 |
| Standard | Core plus the community pledge (20 seconds), a 3:00 ritual and pauses of 2:00 | 16:04 |
| Full | Standard with 2-minute vows each (2:00 more), plus 3:00 for two friend readings | 21:04 |
Assumptions: same 130 words per minute and the same music lengths as the first table. Friend readings are 90 seconds each, our guess. Standard has no second reading, so every second in the table comes from text printed on this page.
One officiant business puts the average ceremony at about 20 minutes and recommends 10 to 30. Another source describes non-religious ceremonies as running 20 to 30 minutes, with vows taking 1 to 2 minutes per person. Both are sources of opinion, not research, but they overlap around 20 minutes. Core and Standard sit in the shorter part of that range, and Full lands just past 20.
Our pick is Standard. It has room for a ritual and still leaves guests ready for cocktail hour.
Where it lands on the clock
Pick the minute the processional music starts. The ceremony ends at that time plus the total. For a schedule you hand to guests, round the end time up to the next whole minute so nobody is told it ends before it does.
Example: ceremony start 4:00 PM (our own arithmetic, music starts at 4:00, end times rounded up to the minute).
- Short, 7:51, ends at 4:08 PM.
- Core, 12:14, ends at 4:13 PM.
- Standard, 16:04, ends at 4:17 PM.
- Full, 21:04, ends at 4:22 PM.
Guests also need to find seats and the wedding party needs to line up, so allow extra minutes before the music starts. Our hour-by-hour wedding day timeline moves every later step when you change the ceremony time.
Five mistakes that make a secular script flat
- Leaving out what only you know. A script with no details about you reads like a template, and a stranger’s story read aloud is worse. Fill the story part with facts only you two share, such as how one of you takes coffee or what you always do at the airport.
- Choosing a reading nobody rehearsed. A reader who first sees the text on the day rushes the breaths. Send it two days early and do one run with the timer.
- Skipping the spoken yes. Without a question to answer, the officiant has no cue to move on and neither of you knows when your turn starts. Keep the question of intent as its own part, before the vows.
- Leaving the handoffs unplanned. Decide who holds the rings, who takes the microphone, and where the officiant stands during the vows. Write those cues in brackets on the printed script.
- Ignoring local wording rules. Some places require specific words for the question of intent or the pronouncement. Show your officiant the draft and keep their required lines.
Before you print it
- Replace every [Name 1] and [Name 2], and fill every other bracket.
- Recount any part you changed and update the total.
- Pick a reader for the reading and send the text.
- Choose one prayer replacement and place it in the order.
- Hand a clean copy to your officiant with the cues in brackets.
- Take a second copy for the person who starts the music.
If your plans are smaller, our elopement ceremony script trims this to the essentials, and the christian ceremony script is the sibling for couples who want scripture. To start from the general outline, use the six-step ceremony builder.
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Questions people ask
How do you write a non religious ceremony?
Start from the seven spoken parts in the script above and write the welcome, the reading and the story about the two of you first. Keep each part short, add details only you share, and read it aloud with a timer. Then ask your officiant what wording your local rules require for the question of intent (the part where each of you is asked whether you will marry the other) and for the pronouncement.
What can replace prayers in a ceremony?
Pick by who is in the room. A moment of quiet asks nothing from guests who do not share a faith, a community pledge lets everyone take part out loud, and a ritual gives a small wedding something to watch. The section above lists all five options with timings, and one or two is plenty.
How long should it be?
Our advice is one plan, not a range. Print the core script and plan for the standard length, about 16 minutes by our estimate at 130 words per minute, which adds a community pledge and a ritual. That sits inside the 10 to 30 minutes one officiant business recommends. Go past 20 only if you add friend readings or longer vows.
Do we still say I do in a secular ceremony?
You can. The wording above uses the phrase I will, and you can swap in I do. Some places require specific words to make the marriage legal, so check with your officiant or the office that issues your license.
Can a friend lead a non religious ceremony?
It depends on where you live. The rules for who may legally marry you differ by state and by country, so ask the office that issues your license before you invite anyone. If your friend cannot sign, they can still lead the ceremony while a licensed person handles the legal part. Give your friend the printed script, a copy of your timing table and one rehearsal so they feel steady.
What if some guests expect a blessing or a prayer?
Tell the officiant, then add a short moment of quiet after the reading and invite guests to think, hope or pray in their own way. That one line respects both groups without making anyone recite words they do not share. Keep it to a few seconds and say it plainly, with no explanation.
Sources
- www.younghipandmarried.com/how-long-is-a-wedding-ceremony (opens in a new tab) : One officiant business puts the average ceremony at about 20 minutes and recommends 10 to 30 minutes. This is one officiant's view, not independent research.
- withjoy.com/blog/wedding-ceremony-order-of-events (opens in a new tab) : A non-religious ceremony runs 20 to 30 minutes, with vows taking 1 to 2 minutes per person.
- tfcs.baruch.cuny.edu/speaking-rate (opens in a new tab) : English speakers average about 150 words per minute. Our 130 words per minute is our own slower assumption for a ceremony.
Updated by bigdaydesk editorial
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